Happy Fursday, Missians!
Thanks for checking out another night time edition of Missy's Blog. I usually like to have all my posts out sometime in the morning, (usually before 8am), but alas, this was one of those times where it was not meant to be. So, I apologize for those of you who like your morning dose of Missy Show, but things got a little too hectic earlier today--but even so--I think you'll enjoy this late edition post anyway.
In Tuesday's post, we talked about animal givers, (the most generous animals). In today's post, we go in the complete opposite direction and discuss animal takers. These are the guys who're the "criminals" and "thieves" of the animal kingdom. This post is just for fun purposes, (we're not proposing that animals really know right from wrong in the way people do).
Okay, with the disclaimer out of the way, sit back and enjoy these funny animal takers.
Fred, the Baboon Car Jacker:
Thanks for checking out another night time edition of Missy's Blog. I usually like to have all my posts out sometime in the morning, (usually before 8am), but alas, this was one of those times where it was not meant to be. So, I apologize for those of you who like your morning dose of Missy Show, but things got a little too hectic earlier today--but even so--I think you'll enjoy this late edition post anyway.
In Tuesday's post, we talked about animal givers, (the most generous animals). In today's post, we go in the complete opposite direction and discuss animal takers. These are the guys who're the "criminals" and "thieves" of the animal kingdom. This post is just for fun purposes, (we're not proposing that animals really know right from wrong in the way people do).
Okay, with the disclaimer out of the way, sit back and enjoy these funny animal takers.
Fred, the Baboon Car Jacker:
You may not be surprised to hear that there's a history of gang violence in Cape Town, South Africa, but we're betting you will be surprised to hear that one of the most notorious gangs was headed up by a short, hairy baboon named Fred. And we're not insulting him -- he literally was a short, hairy baboon. Named Fred.
And Fred's crew likes to break into cars.
The baboon earned a name for himself (though, sadly, not a more impressive one than "Fred") by staking out the road that leads to Cape Point (South Africa's most southerly point), and was often seen prowling up and down the roadside, carefully surveying the cars that had so carelessly stopped on his turf. Fred had figured out that automobiles were really just huge metal treat holders, and having realized that, it was only a matter of time before he learned that pulling on the door handles gave him instant access to the goodies within.
Also, it's not like he was fussy about whether anyone was actually in the car or not, leading to many a surprised tourist leaping out of the car as a baboon rummaged through their stuff. And if they weren't smart enough to get out, Fred had no qualms about shanking them with the knives that Mother Nature had so kindly built directly into his face.
In fact, Fred and his gang caused so much trouble that Cape Town went to the lengths of employing a crack team of monkey specialists to try and ward the baboons off their vehicular targets. Team leader Mark Duffell said his baboon nemesis could "hit four or five cars in like five minutes."
Sadly, Fred's antics wouldn't be permitted forever, and he was eventually caught and given a lethal injection in March of 2011. It was only then that we learned the true badassness of this particular baboon -- an X-ray taken as part of his postmortem showed that Fred had continued his baboon jacking spree despite having been shot more than 50 times.
Princess the Orangutan: Boat Thief
Princess was raised by Dr. Gary Shapiro, co-founder of the unfortunately named Camp Leakey, part of the even more unfortunately named Tanjung Puting National Park. Like most orangutans, Princess was chock-full of the smarts, and Shapiro successfully taught her how to use sign language, with the clever ape picking up over 30 signs with which to communicate.
And sign language wasn't the only human behavior she was picking up -- Princess took in everything that went on around her, and often entertained herself by mimicking the actions of the camp workers. It wasn't long until she'd figured out the art of transportation, and was filmed for Sir David Attenborough's Life of Mammals series as she paddled a canoe across the river. In fact, she was the first orangutan ever to be seen using a boat in the same way as a human.
But Princess didn't always find the locals willing to accommodate her desire for sailing, probably because she wasn't too careful about bringing the boat back once she'd finished using it. But she wasn't going to let such a trifling matter as lack of permission stop her from reaching her goal -- namely, a hoard of untouched food on the other side of the river (with the horde of pissed-off humans who regularly had to round up their missing canoes being an unintentional yet hilarious bonus).
When the camp workers realized their boats were no longer safe from a boat-stealing orangutan, they thought they could outwit her by hiding the paddles, but it turns out that's not an effective form of theft prevention when you're dealing with a creature that basically has paddles for hands.
Deciding they'd need to employ more cunning tactics, the boat owners elected to start tethering the boats up, which, to an uninitiated person, may have seemed like a good enough idea [it didn't work].
Needless to say, their next ingenious idea was equally unsuccessful, given that it wasn't so much "ingenious" as it was "Well s**t, let's just tie the knots tighter." Finally, they resorted to weighing their canoes down with rocks until they needed them.
That's right, folks: Princess reduced the locals to sinking their own boats in order to stop her from stealing them.
These two pet thief stories come from the article on Cracked.com: The 6 Most Impressive Serial Animal Criminals. To see the other four "criminals" check out the rest of the article here:
Our other pet criminals are courtesy of theloop.ca, (North America's Most Wanted Animal Criminals):
Disorderly Head Butting Goat:
Earlier this month, police received multiple calls from residents in New Jersey complaining about a disorderly goat who was repeatedly head-butting a door. Three officers were sent out to pursue the head-butter and chased him down a roadway. He was finally caught and sent to an animal control facility.
Cat Holds Owners Hostage in Their Own Home:
A moody black cat named Kush was anything but chill when her owner supposedly stepped on her tail (by accident) in the middle of the night. Going into a fit of rage, Kush attacked the owner and his wife and then proceeded to trap them in their bedroom. Left with no other choice, the couple were forced to call 911.
Canadian Geese Are Crapping All Over America:
If this isn’t vandalism, we don’t know what is. Officials in Washington, D.C. are releasing the dogs on Canadian geese who are destroying the State’s Reflecting Pool, the Washington Monument grounds and John F. Kennedy Hockey Fields with their a tonne of poop. Nasty!
Be sure to go to the above link to check out the rest of the animal criminals on the list. So, what do you think of these animals behaving badly? Hilarious? Annoying? Crafty? Obnoxious? I must say they were mostly funny for me. But I can see why some people would feel they were obnoxious. LOL.
At any rate, that's it for now. Please check out upcoming Saturday post to find out about the bizarre phenomenon of animals actually being placed on trial for committing "crimes" (and no I'm not joking).
Until then,
This is your host J,
signing off...
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